Friend or Foe
by popstarcat
Summary: Courtney Freed, alone and confused in the apocalypse, wakes up on Hershel's farm with no idea how she got there. Mistaken for a walker, the group takes her in and she starts a new life on the farm. What will happen when she falls for Carl Grimes, the leader's son? And will a terrible secret leave her back in the forest again, with no friends and no chance of survival?
1. Chapter 1

As if in a swift leap, I tumbled into consciousness with a start. My eyelids parted in an instant, but I couldn't see anything. Everything was shadowed by darkness, including my mind - a wave of panicky amnesia had settled over my senses, clouding all rational thought and forming a thin line between all of my knowledge and what was placed before me, or lack thereof.

_Where am I? Who am I? _I blinked, my hands shaking and my heart pounding. The answers to my questions were there, somewhere just beyond my reach where I couldn't grasp them. My vision came into focus gradually, and my senses were beginning to cooperate.

I could feel a cool breeze wafting through my hair, and the sinking mud beneath me. I could smell ripe apples and fresh grass. I could hear the soft whispering of the wind blowing through trees, the distant tinkling of wind chimes. I still did not know the answers to my questions, even though I had regained control of my body.

I sat up gently, prying myself loose from the muddy earth sticking to my clothes. Pulling myself to my feet, I took a step forward. I had to find someone ... someone would help me. I wandered through the unknown place, with only the sole factor being that I was outdoors.

After a few minutes of searching, my palms touched cool, smooth wood. I felt around for some form of entrance or any other device that confirmed what it was, but I was cut short by a hard shove from behind me.

As a natural instinct, I opened my mouth and screamed. I had been oblivious to the fact that I had the ability to speak, and it shocked me that I could do so. Another shove accompanied the last, forcing me forward. The shove came from a pair of hands, which obviously belonged to a human - I felt my heart seize as I realized I wasn't alone out here in this darkness. Before I could do anything else, one of the hands clapped over my mouth to prevent me from screaming any more. I tried to yell, but my screams were muffled.

The other hand kept forcing me forward, though I stumbled on rocks and jagged bumps repeatedly. I desperately wanted to say something, to ask what was going on. But the hand was still over my mouth, so I didn't bother trying to talk. Another memory came flooding back to me - I had teeth. And they were made for biting. I opened my mouth and bit down on a finger, causing the hand to reel.

But still I was forced on, and a cloth was wrapped around my head to replace the hand. I struggled to escape the stranger, but the shoves were quicker now and there was no time to head off on another course. Eventually a pinprick of light appeared in the oblivion, and I had a spark of hope in my heart. Was this person leading me to sanctuary? The lights became brighter, and so did the surroundings illuminated by them. The lights were positioned at the entrance of a barn. So that's where I was.

I still couldn't turn to see the stranger, so I continued on. As we reached the barn entrance, the shover turned me the other way so I couldn't see him/her as they opened the barn doors. Before they opened it, I could hear moans and scratching coming from inside. My stomach turned as I had a feeling of impending doom - something unnatural was in that barn. But before I could think any more, the hands shoved me into the building - and slammed the door shut. Once again, I was alone in the darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

I pounded my fists at the doors, my knuckles aching at the blows. "What are you doing? Let me out!" I demanded, twisting the doorknob frantically. But my attempts were in vain; the entrances were locked. I didn't want to face the truth - something was here with me. My hands trembling and pale, I turned around slowly. My suspicions were confirmed; the creatures in the barn were not natural.

There were about twenty of them, staring blankly at me with a clueless expression on their gruesome faces. Their hair was tangled and filthy, and their skin was pale and flushed. Their eyes were glazed over, their mouths hung open, their clothing was tattered and ripped, and they walked with a slow, lagged shuffle. \

The creatures trudged closer, moaning with each step. I felt my palms start to sweat as I tried to process what was happening. What were these things? Another question to add onto my list. It was hard enough not knowing who you were, and now this? I looked around for an exit, anything - I needed a miracle. The creatures' mouths were gnashing, as if they wanted to eat me, and any exit offered was definitely appreciated.

A ladder led to a rim surrounding the creatures' domain, and it was directly to my right. I bolted for it, and I scrambled up the wooden pegs as fast as I could, throwing myself onto the rim. I panted heavily and pushed my bangs out of my sweaty forehead, glancing down at the monsters. They were gripping the ladder with their horrible, gnarled fingers, but they couldn't lift themselves up to climb it.

I sighed in relief and looked around for any other sign of escape, hoping I could find a window or another ladder. Luckily, there was a window around the rim big enough to climb out of. I carefully edged to the no-pane window, pushing myself over it to the other side. Sweat beaded at my forehead with concentration as I grasped the barn's loose planks and lowered myself to the grass.

Dawn had broken as I was in the barn, the sky streaked with pink and orange pastels. The sun had already begun to trickle over the world, its warmth tingling my body from head to toe. A white house was basking in the glow away from the barn, shimmering in its light. I figured there must be someone living there, because it was in perfect condition and someone had attacked me last night.

I started for the house, my feet crunching against the soft summer grass. Birdsongs echoed in the distance, announcing the morning to any who would listen. I wanted to relish it all, but there was so much left unanswered. I was tired, and hungry, and I still couldn't remember anything. I walked up the creaky, wooden steps and lifted my fist to knock on the door. I took a deep breath and hit the door, hoping for the best.

The door opened slowly, and a man's face peered cautiously through the small crack. "Who are you?" He asked, his face hard and cold. "I-I don't know." I stammered, and his face turned from unforgiving to perplexed. "Rick!" The man called, turning to look inside the house.

Another resident of the house appeared, a smile on his face. It quickly disappeared as he laid his eyes on me. "Daryl, who is this?" Rick asked, a suspicious tone in his voice. "I don't know. She says she doesn't know either." Daryl shrugged. Rick nodded at Daryl in dismissal, and Daryl left. "You don't know?" Rick raised an eyebrow. "No. I woke up here on the farm, and I had no clue where I was or who I was. Someone pushed me into the barn, and it was full of these weird things. I escaped in time though, but I'm really confused." I explained, trying not to cry as every word I said made me feel hopeless. "Please come inside." Rick said, formal but gentle at the same time.

I nodded, and stepped through the door. The house smelled delicious, like baking apple pie and cinnamon. I took a deep breath, trying to connect the smell with some of my memories. Unfortunately, it didn't work. It did smell pretty good though.

Suddenly, a pretty brunette woman poked her head into the room. "Rick, honey, what's happening ...?" She was cut short as she noticed me. Her face softened as she said gently, "Oh, hello." I was happy to see someone's kind face in this turmoil instead of the usual passive looks I'd been receiving. "Hi." I managed a weak smile. The woman looked at me with sympathy, and she introduced herself. "My name is Lori. I'm Rick's wife." I wished I could tell her who I was, but I didn't regain that information yet. Lori grabbed Rick's elbow and pulled him aside. They whispered in hushed tones for a few moments until they turned back to me.

"How would you like some dinner here tonight? We'll give you a chance to rest up." Lori asked, giving me a friendly smile. Her green eyes flickered with kindness, and I felt reassured immediately. "Thank you so much ... I can't even tell you how much this means to me ..." I tried to hold the tears back, but they came flooding out in a waterfall nonetheless. Lori laid a gentle hand on my shoulder, guiding me down a hallway. "You're very welcome. Here's the bedrooms, there's one at the end of the hall that's free. Tell me your name as soon as you remember, okay?" I nodded, and Lori left me with my bedroom. I opened the door and flung myself down on the bed. I hadn't laid down for more than a minute when I fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

I woke up to someone tapping my shoulder. "Hmm?" I sat up, rubbing my eyes. "It's time for dinner." I looked up and saw a girl in her 20s with short brown hair and green eyes. She looked very thoughtful and serious, staring off into space thinking deeply about something. I pulled the covers up to make my bed, and turned to walk down the hall.

The house was very nicely decorated, full of family pictures and wooden décor. Even the hallways were no exception - the wallpaper was patterned with a rainbow of flowers. I recognized the serious girl who just woke me in one of the family pictures. "Thanks for waking me." I said, turning to her. "No problem, kiddo. My name's Maggie, by the way." She nodded in my direction.

I returned her friendly nod and we walked down the hallway in a comfortable silence. I didn't really know much to talk about anyways; my amnesia was still in effect and I didn't even know my own name. I hoped the memory loss would wear off soon, so I could have a normal conversation with people.

We reached the main room in a few seconds, where a full group of people were seated in various perches. I recognized Rick, Daryl, Lori and of course Maggie, but the rest I did not know. I looked for a place to sit in the room, and settled for a countertop beside Lori. "How was your rest?" Lori asked, taking a bite of her meat. "It was good. I still don't know my name, though." I said, a tone of disappointment in my voice. "That's all right. You'll remember it sooner or later." Lori gave me a smile, and she gestured to the dinner table. "Grab yourself some food, there's squirrel and carrots." She told me.

My stomach turned at the thought of eating meat from a fuzzy gray squirrel, but I supposed that if this was what everyone else wanted to eat, I would eat it too. I took a spoonful of raw carrot slices and a bit of squirrel just to try it, and I propped myself back up on the counter. I dug into my meal like I hadn't eaten in weeks, and the squirrel turned out to be pretty good!

After dinner was over, Rick stood up in the middle of the room. "Everyone, I'm sure you already know this news, but if you don't, please listen carefully. This morning a survivor stumbled upon our camp. Apparently one of us tried to shove her into a barn. She has severe amnesia, and she was having hallucinations about walkers in the barn. One of you really scared her. Finally, we have to make a group decision here. We can keep this girl here until she has healed and she has regained her mental stability and memory or we keep her here for as long as she likes." Rick explained, and everyone murmured in the group. My cheeks heated as the attention became focused on me - my hands became sweaty, I started fiddling with my fingers and I hung my face. "All in favor of setting her free." Rick glanced around the room. One man raised his hand, and that was it. "Well, Shane, looks like you got outnumbered." Rick said, and Shane stood up.

"We have to let her go, Rick. She'll be dragging our group behind, and we're going to have to feed her too." Shane shook his head, narrowing his eyes. "Shane, there are walkers out there. She's only thirteen! How is she ever going to survive by herself?" Rick replied smartly, giving an ice-cold stare to Shane. "Um, excuse me?" I piped up, my little voice practically nothing. "Yes?" Rick turned to face me. "What are walkers?" I said. A look of shock passed over everyone's faces, and some of them stared at me sympathetically. Lori whispered to Maggie, "The poor girl. Nobody told her." I waited patiently for Rick to tell me, and after what seemed like forever he finally replied, "Um ...there's a virus going around that is spread by the human bite. The virus gives you a high fever, then you die. But you rise up as a walker, and you're hungry for human flesh." I stared in bewilderment at him, who said it as casual as he could.

"That's why we gotta shoot 'em in the brain.' Daryl patted his trusty sidekick, his crossbow. "Wow." Was all I could utter. "How much of the world has been affected?" I asked in a panic. "All of it." Rick winced. I felt my heart ache as I thought of my family possibly becoming walkers. "Anyone want some dessert?" A cheery voice called from behind us. It was a beautiful girl with platinum-blond hair and green eyes - she was in the hallway pictures with Maggie. Her pictures were labelled as "Beth." "Yes please, Beth!" Almost everyone called, except for Shane. His brow was furrowed and his arms were folded.

After the adults exchanged some common conversation, as though the world wasn't coming to an end, Beth brought in the dessert. It was a chocolate cake drizzled with caramel. "Beth, you made this?" I managed to muffle without choking on a crumb. "With my own two hands. Daddy plants a vegetable garden in the backyard!" Beth smiled, and Hershel grinned as well. As I took a bite into my cake, it brought back a memory. My birthday parties ... my age ... my name ... It brought back everything.

"My name's Courtney Freed." I tapped Lori, remembering the promise I made her to tell her my name. "Your memory's okay now?" She gave me a smile. "I remember everything." I confirmed, taking a forkful of cake.


	4. Chapter 4

And with the memories came nightmares. Hershel had demanded that I sleep outside of the house with Rick's group, as we were all fairly new to his estate and we couldn't truly be trusted yet. No sooner had he announced it did Lori help me pitch a tent beside hers; mine was fluorescent orange and I was certain it would attract walkers. "Are you absolutely sure there are none here?" I raised an eyebrow, cross-legged in the grass beside her. Lori wiped her brow as the sun beat down on her forehead, frowning as she struggled to keep the fabric supported. The tent kept falling down, despite her efforts; everyone else was still inside eating, so we had no other help.

"I don't want to lie to you, Courtney, there's no real way to tell. Some of them stay where they should, some wander in, but all of us have sturdy gun training from Rick – one shot to the head, and you're most likely safe." Lori admitted, her brown ringlets hanging in her face as she bent down to inspect a nail.

I bit my lip and considered this, the fact that everyone knew how to handle weapons. I hadn't the slightest clue how to use any arms, given that I was raised by two peaceful parents that wouldn't dream of handing me a gun.

"Lori, do you think Rick would mind showing me how to use a gun?"

She looked up at me, a look torn between sympathy and pride; as if I were her own daughter.

"I'll ask him at lunchtime today. You're not one to waste time."

She stood up and wiped her hands, sighing in relief. The tent had decided to cooperate, and the sun seemed to lessen its flare into pleasant warmth with a cool breeze.

"I don't need to. There's no reason I can't handle myself if I'm in danger. Besides, I'll be alone soon, what with Hershel and Shane around."

"Hershel is only unsure, but not about you. All of us are under his judgment, on trial, you could say. And Shane …"

Lori's lips twisted in a funny way, and she didn't finish. Then, she sighed and placed her hands on her hips. "Well, would you mind helping me out today? We all have to do our part on the farm to stay." She shielded her eyes with one hand.

"Not at all." I said, and soon I was trailing behind her as she led me around the side of the house. There was a chicken house and horse stalls, dairy cows and horn-headed sheep, pink pigs trotting through their pen. "This is the farm part of the property. This is where I spend most of my time helping out, because there's an amazing stream nearby and the animals are friendly."

In front of the animals, there was a plot of land full of dirt. Seeds were scattered everywhere and vegetables poked up from the ground. There were fruit trees everywhere, all full of fruit ready to be picked. There were strawberry rows and stalks of grain waving in the air. "Wow … this must be Beth's garden." I breathed. "Yep, she's pretty talented. That's what she does, while her sister Maggie milks the cows. Beth's boyfriend Jimmy cares for the horses. Otis, the ranch farmhand, has a wife named Patricia and she helps with the pigs. We're all a pretty decent team if I do say so myself."

"And what's your job?" I asked her curiously as she swung open a gate leading to the chicken house. "I feed the chickens, take their eggs. We all do odd jobs when needed, too." Lori explained, as my ears filled with the ruffling of feathers and squawks of fowl. Lori clutched a potato sack in her hand, and walked back outside to see the younger chickens in their outdoors time.

As she fed the chickens, my eyes drifted to the house. A woman had stepped outside, and was starting for the farm. Her curly hair and blue eyes were serious, her hair pulled back in a no-nonsense bun.

She obviously had to do something important.

Lori glanced up at her, and smiled. "Good morning, Patricia. What brings you to the chicken house?" She looked confused, almost offended that Patricia felt compelled to perform any task of hers.

"You too, Lori. Don't mind me, I only need to tend to a chicken we might have later in the week." Patricia nodded in acknowledgement.

With that, she brushed past Lori and entered the chicken house. Lori shrugged and continued to feed the chickens; but I wasn't finished with Patricia yet. I couldn't judge her character, but something in her voice told me that she wasn't looking for a chicken to eat later in the week.

Leaning into the chicken keep, I could see Patricia, enshrouded in shadow. The shutters left stripes of light along her back and sides, and she was bent over a nest. She was caressing a chicken, her hands flying to its legs. I felt foolish for thinking she was up to something; she probably was only examining it for dinner.

But then, there was a flick of her wrist and a feeble squawk; a sickening crack echoed in the chicken house, but none of the other stock noticed this. The chicken went limp, and its eyes became unseeing.

I turned around as fast as I could, pretending to be immersed in a conversation with Lori about the care of chickens. But out of the corner of my eye, I could see Patricia holding another potato sack.

Her arms swinging by her sides, she remained casual as she approached the barn – the barn that I had been in last night. Looking around before opening the door, she darted inside.

When she returned outside, the sack was drooping and empty.

Lori didn't notice this mysterious behavior as she tossed the feedbag back in the chicken house. "Want to see your job?" She asked, and I nodded. I followed her obediently and she brought me back out to the sheep pen. "You'll feed these little sheep and lead them to the house to be sheared. It's really important, because you can't lose one." Lori replied.

I felt a thrill at the thought of making a difference on the farm. I had to prove myself; I had to change something for the better. "That seems like a decent job, eh?" Lori smiled, and she handed me a bucket. The food for every animal is stored in the chicken house's storage room. Don't ask me why they don't use that barn."

"Is it forbidden?" I inquired, remembering the hallucinations I'd had last night. "Yes. Hershel won't tell us why, but that's his own business." She said, and she left me with my bucket.

That night, my stomach churned. The cool night air, the chirping of crickets and the sound of owls were deafening. My imagination was always active at night; it always had been. This was when I really considered my memories, the ones I had just regained.

Slowly, despite the noise and my mind racing, I drifted off and succumbed into the night.

I was in a classroom. I looked up in surprise, and saw the stern look of my eighth grade teacher as she motioned for me to continue. I looked down to see a crisp test sheet. I looked back down obediently and tried to make sense of what this test was all about.

This was strange … I didn't remember walking into the room or even getting this test.

I had just figured out the answer to one of the questions when I heard an alarm sound. All at once, the children all around the classroom stood up and started chattering away. I shoved my chair in immediately and lined up at the door, following my teacher as she led us out of the classroom and down the corridor.

As the halls flooded with middle school-aged kids, I blended into the sea. We walked at a normal pace out of the school building, making our way outside. That was when I noticed the kids in front of me were speeding up.

I struggled to keep up, trying not to fall behind and hold up the crowd. Everyone started to move faster and faster, and when one boy turned around and met my eyes, his were glazed over in terror.

I looked around frantically at everyone's faces. They were all filled with fear, their feet propelled by the urge to escape.

As I looked around, my eyes eventually fell on someone. Someone different from the rest.

Its eyes were faded and emotionless, and it was uttering noises as it stepped out of an empty room. Its movements were slow and delayed, and it looked like it was going to trip and fall each time it took a step.

A new purpose propelled me forward, my face assimilated with the same expression as everyone else. I had to get out, I had to get out. I had no idea what that thing was, but I knew I had to leave right now.

I had almost reached the door that led to the outside, frantic to step out into freedom. I was so close, just a couple of steps now …

I suddenly felt a sharp jab at my head, most likely an elbow. My head felt light and my knees weakened. I was crumpling onto the floor, struggling to keep my eyes open. But before I knew it, I had closed my eyes and fallen unconscious.


End file.
